apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
