trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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