my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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