Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Vodka?
Forever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
