I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
