don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
