I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
