wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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