I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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