Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
