i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
