do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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