I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
