I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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