My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
