why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
