you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
