just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Come on in and take your pants off
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
