we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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