even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
