why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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