In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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