it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
