drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
where am i from again
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
