She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
