I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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