I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I love having hate sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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