After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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