i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
