4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
