i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
