Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize