you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
