I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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