Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
3pm strippers are depressing
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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