Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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