at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
