Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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