I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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