dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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