FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
