I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Congratulations! We have a period
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