Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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