That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
