I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
