Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
