Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
