I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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