census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
