She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
